Tuesday, December 2, 2008

What's in a name?

Lee was my first husband’s middle name. Lee is my first son’s middle name. Leigh is my only granddaughter’s middle name. And Lee is the middle name of the man I am now married to. This name sure got a good work out in all my family connections. Now, all this came about BEFORE I found out that my birth name is/was Lee (just plain Lee, no middle name). This discovery came after my adopting mother died (January 2006) – the court papers changing my name were in her safe deposit box. I was adopted at 11 months of age and was named Carol Elizabeth.

So, just what is in a name? And does it affect who you are?

I read about both my names through a website linked with the birthday calculator that was used for the birthday meme back in November. It states that my names mean:
Lee: (English, female) Meadow
Carol: (French, female) Song of Joy;
(English, female) feminine form of Charles meaning strong or manly.

Basically, this site uses numerology for its base. It gives you numbers for (a) characteristics and expressions or destiny, (b) soul serge, and (c) inner dream. From all that information, I decided to take a positive and a negative essence used to describe both names in each category.

(a) Number 5. Positive = “master of adaptability and change.” Negative = restless and impatient.
(b) Number 8: Positive = strong urges to supervise and organize. Negative = rigid and stubborn.
(c) Number 6: The essence of this number is “You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.”

(a) Number 7. Positive = good at searching out and finding the truth. Negative = overly critical and intolerant.
(b) Number 3. Positive = energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social. Negative = at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out.
(c) Number 4. You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork

I have always felt like I am two people – one tugging at the other. Not the you-have-a-twin-somewhere tug or the good-n-evil tug (although I do experience a lot of that anyway); just the sort of tug that thinks and acts in two (or three, or six) different directions all the time. It’s become easier to deal with these forces as I age, but there are always the “who am I” and “why am I like this” questions.

So which of these two names is MY name? Which holds the key to who I am? Well, they both do. And I imagine that most of you who read this can relate to all the essences I have found in my short investigation. Since I have been Carol on paper longer, I tend to see more of the carol-essence in my being. But the lee-essence is right in there also – especially that (c) .

Thanks for stopping by again... until next time...

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