Supposedly, these headlines were actually printed...
MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER
(It took the editor two or three readings before he realized that what he was reading was impossible.)
PANDA MATING FAILS: Veterinarian Takes Over
(What a guy!)
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURE
(Who wudda thought?!)
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE
(Wonder if they tried duct tape?)
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: Faces Battery Charge
(He probably IS the battery charge. It must have been a shocking experience. His new nickname is Sparky. Etc, etc…)
ASTRONAUT TAKES BALME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
(It was the freeze-dried chili and refried beans.)
HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY SEVEN FOOT DOCTORS
(Boy, are they tall!)
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGHT CEMETERY: Hundreds Dead
(Did I read that right? Are they serious?)
Have a safe and sane Black Friday everyone.
Thanks for stopping by...