It is Thursday (July 2, 2009) afternoon. Son #1, whose name is Chris, just walked in the kitchen door. “It’s a good thing I stopped at that second place. Mom, you are not going to believe this…”
It all started when I got up Wednesday morning at 5 a.m. (this is really a bit too early for me these days), Chris was snoring loudly on the sofa recliner with the TV on. However, this is NOT the first time I have found this scene upon getting up. Often I hear him trying to quietly go to bed about 6 a.m. He says he slept for a bit and then got up for a bit and then went back to bed. I KNOW that he has fallen asleep on the sofa with the TV on. Know what? I just don’t believe that story. I have suggested, many times, that if he is tired GO TO BED! This is not HIS home, if he wants to do his own thing, he needs to get his own place.
My 38-year-old son came to live with us in April 2008, so that I would have some help and some company when Richard went through the bone marrow transplant in May 2008. By October 2008, Richard was recovered enough to take our long-planned for cruise from the west coast to the east coast via the Panama Canal. After spending six months here, Son #1 decided he wanted to stay and not return to Pennsylvania.
Not to minimize his contributions in helping us because Son #1 does help out around here and the help is much appreciated… he loves to cook, takes care of the lawn, and when poked with a cattle prod does some help with the cleaning. Since he claims the kitchen as his domain, he is responsible for keeping it clean (cattle prod time again). He also keeps the grocery list and goes to the grocery store with me (that’s because I pay). He is also very good to Ramona the pup; in fact, she adores Son #1.
However, he really has not started a serious search for gainful employment. In the last 8 months, I can count on one hand the times he has actually GONE OUT of the house to look for a job… only to come home and say: I have to apply online. Me thinks, perhaps, he should be looking in a different direction. He has been a security guard, worked at convenience stores and restaurants and has been a bartender. He was in the Marine Corps. I will say that he has done up a resume and knows how to write a cover letter. He has been to the state job center three times.
So, because of this current short fuse of mine (being what it has been this week), I exploded at him at 5 a.m. yesterday morning. Verbally, I threw newspapers and telephone books at him. I also suggested he started being a little creative in his job search. USE YOUR FRICKIN HEAD!! You want a job? You must prove it at this point in our recessed economy. Get creative. You are in a competitive market – even at McDonalds.
Then I let THE sentence go… “Have a job by the end of July or find someone else to live off.”
OMG (my mother-self said)… I AM a bad mother... not bad, HORRIBLE!!
OMG (my voice-of-reason said)… He’s 38-frickin-years-old; he needs to be responsible!
Son #1 tends to focus ALL his free time on reading and “playing” on the computer. I do this now in retirement; however, at his age, I was a single parent trying to bring up three rowdy boys. I worked at least one full-time job. As the kids got older, I also took on a part-time job AND went back to school when I was well into my 40’s. So, I also told him that instead of resting on my laurels all day long, I would feel guilty about being in the prime of my life and hiding out at Mom’s place. Does he think I owe him this luxury?
So that is a whole lot of build-up to the lighting of my short fuse. Wednesday, he spent the entire afternoon making phone calls, writing cover letters, and getting his resume ready to mail out to several security agencies. Last night he printed out directions to other agencies where he is to take his resume on Thursday. Hopefully, progress in getting through his thick head is being made. (My comment: Do ya see what you can do when you put a little effort into something??? HUH??? DO YA?? Imagine what would happen if you did this even once a week. Maybe you would have a job by now? He must have gotten his thick head from his father… and the blinders too.)
The second stop on his journey Thursday was at the office for a security agency that provides security guards mainly to the City of Sacramento. The guy Chris talked to saw that Chris is a "transplant" from Pennsylvania. Chris said that he had lived there for 10 years but was originally from a small city in Western Massachusetts. The guy at the agency asked Chris if he ever heard of Great Barrington, MA. OMG… just south of our old home town. That along with the fact that Chris is a (ex-) Marine and has guard experience… he may be starting work next weekend. He does need to get a California Guard Registration card which involves taking a 40 hour state approved class and this agency will help him get that.
This is a foot-in-the-door.
Praise the Lord for a short fuse.